A Saint Was Asked What Is Anger

A wise man was asked what is anger? He gave a beautiful answer: It is a punishment we give to ourselves for somebody else’s mistake. – Unknown

When a wise man once inquired as to what anger is, the response was given as follows: “Anger is nothing more than self-punishment for a mistake that someone else has made.” Yes, there are moments when we become overly hyper and lose control over our own self. We have a tendency to make a decision on the spur of the moment and then to keep making the same decision over and over again. In addition, when we are furious, we have a tendency to say and do things that are hurtful to those around us, which is a dangerous situation.

You should be in complete command of what you do and say to others.

As a result, no matter how chaotic the situation appears to be, you must always be the type of person who makes decisions while maintaining sufficient mental clarity and presence of mind.

To be wise, you should be able to control your emotions and abstain from being angry.

Though it is understandable that this is easier said than done, a prudent individual would always attempt to maintain his or her composure before making a decision.

No matter how dire the situation appears to be, you must always make a conscious effort to remain cool at first.

I understand that it is difficult to maintain self-control at that particular time, but it is only if you are able to do so that you will come out ahead at the end of the day.

10 Angry and Cranky Saints to Call Upon When Rage Creeps In

Even on my most “anger-filled” of fury days, there was always something in the back of my mind — something calming, soothing, and reasonable – that reminded me that the feelings I was dragged into were harmful to my health. It certainly wasn’t something to be proud of. Saints were frequently in contact with me. Even though I couldn’t figure out if they were supporters or correctors of bad conduct, I frequently begged them to intercede on my behalf in order to help me overcome the severe levels of wrath I frequently faced.

At least, that’s what I believed.

Even if the reason of my rage was not my fault, it didn’t matter to me anymore because I was an adult. No amount of pointing fingers would change the fact that my conduct has spiraled out of control until I made a conscious decision to do something about it.


However, while God did not intend for us to be furious all of the time, it was clear that I would need to discover some means – both spiritual and practical – of putting an end to those angry sentiments. Looking to Sacred Scripture for guidance, the following verses appeared to be a useful starting point for taming those outbursts: “Do not transgress while you are furious: Do not allow the sun to set while you are still angry, and do not give the devil a stronghold in your life.” Ephesians 4:26-27 (New International Version) “Don’t get involved in dumb and stupid discussions since you already know that they lead to quarrels.

  • In addition, the Lord’s servant must refrain from quarreling, but rather must be friendly to everyone, capable of teaching, and not resentful.” 2 Timothy 2:23–24 And then there’s my personal fave.
  • Whoops.
  • Then there’s the vision of me reaching out, but failing, to grasp the words that had been spat in vehement frustration.
  • Takesies and backsies would be quite beneficial right now.


“An feeling that is not inherently bad, but when it is not controlled by reason or hardens into anger or hatred, it becomes a capital sin, even a grave sin,” says the author. Bringing to mind the law, “You must not kill,” our Lord requested that we have peace of mind and condemned violent rage and hatred as being sinful. Anger is defined as a desire for vengeance. “To want vengeance in order to do harm to someone who should be punished is illegal,” but it is commendable to impose reparation “in order to repair vices and uphold justice,” according to the aforementioned statement.

In the words of the Lord, “Everyone who is enraged with his brother will be subject to judgment.” CCC 2302 is a classification code.


“An feeling that is not inherently bad, but when it is not controlled by reason or hardens into anger or hatred, it becomes a capital sin, even a grave sin,” the author writes. When our Lord invoked the rule “You must not kill,” he expressed his desire for peace of mind and condemned violent fury and hatred as unethical. When you are angry, you have a strong urge to exact revenge on someone. “To want vengeance in order to do harm to someone who should be punished is illegal,” but it is commendable to impose reparation “in order to remedy vices and uphold justice,” according to the aforementioned definition.

“Everyone who is enraged with his brother will be subject to judgment,” the Lord states in the Bible. Number 2302 on the CCC (Conventional Code of Civil Procedure).


St. Ambrose of Milan (St. Ambrose of Milan) To prevent disagreements, we should always be on our alert, especially when dealing with individuals who urge us to quarrel with them, those who vex and annoy us, and those who say things that are likely to make us angry. When we find ourselves in the company of quarrelsome, eccentric individuals, people who openly and unapologetically say the most shocking things, and who are difficult to put up with, we should seek refuge in silence, and the best course of action is to refrain from responding to those whose behavior is so ridiculous as to be laughable.

  • This approach of taking down their pride disarms them and clearly demonstrates to them that we are dismissive of and dislike them.
  • Anthony is a patron saint of Italy.
  • I’m confident that you wouldn’t.
  • That’s how I feel about sinners, to put it bluntly.
  • As a result, they are all the more deserving of our compassion.
  • I must labor for their salvation and pray to God on their behalf, joining my voice with Jesus Christ in asking, “Father, pardon them, for they have no idea what they are doing or saying.” St.
  • The saint’s irritability was not motivated by rage against the injustices of the world.
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A sister who was having difficulty praying received this response: “Everyone can take her place at the foot of the Cross, in God’s presence; if she has nothing to say to Him, let her wait until He says something to her; if He chooses to leave her there, let her remain there willingly and await the grace of either speaking or listening to Him from His bounty.” What is his recommendation?


I believe we all understand – deep down – that anger, particularly when it is righteous and managed properly, may have positive consequences (hey, Jesus flipping the tables over in the temple, anyone?) However, we are well aware that this is not the case in this instance. We’re talking about controlling an emotion that has caused (and has the capacity to cause) devastation in some of our lives in the recent past. Rage (when we are honest and raw with ourselves) provides an addictive high that must be controlled, both for our own good and for the benefit of those who are in our immediate vicinity.

And while anger might be a stumbling barrier for many of us, we are aware that we do not have to bear this load on our shoulders alone.

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The Saints Can Teach Us How to Control Our Anger

Let everyone be quick to listen, slow to speak, slow to anger, for man’s wrath does not bring about God’s righteousness. — James 1:19-20 (NASB) Do you have a fiery temper that you can’t control? Then you’re in excellent company: several of the saints were recognized for having this trait – a tendency that, with God’s assistance, they were able to overcome. Apparently, Sts. James and John were referred to as “sons of thunder” (Mark 3:17), maybe because of their impulsive character, as seen by their request that Jesus bring down fire from Heaven in order to demolish a hostile town (Luke 9:51-56).

  • Basil the Great, whose hot-blooded temperament made it difficult for him to be diplomatic in his dealings with others.
  • Basil the Great is also known for expressing wrath in public.
  • Benildus, speaking of his problems as a teacher in the nineteenth century.
  • Jerome merits anything other than the top spot.
  • Augustine, which he conducted through letters that were sometimes venomous or mocking in tone.
  • Pammachius, a former Roman senator, who attempted to persuade him to tone down his language, but without much success; the Roman widow St.
  • Although it should be emphasized that while Jerome was sympathetic with the poor and oppressed, he was also acutely conscious of his own failings and undertook significant acts of penance (such as living in a cave) in order to overcome these shortcomings.

Francis de Sales and the holy French priestSt.


Francis also stated that it took him more than twenty years to learn to manage his anger, among other things.

John Colombini was a greedy trader in the fourteenth century, and he was particularly well-known for his terrible temper at the time.

His wife presented him with a book on saints in the hopes of embarrassing him into better behavior.

This event caused him to get so absorbed in reading about the saints that he entirely forgot about his supper; in fact, he was completely converted as a result of the encounter.

He was no longer easily offended by criticism, so when his wife urged him to exercise caution in his charitable endeavors, John, who was no longer easily offended by criticism, gently reminded her that she was the one who had hoped for his conversion (to which she is said to have responded, “I prayed for rain, but this is a flood”).

  • For example, when a storm ruined his harvest, St.
  • Immediate repentance brought him to the point of vowing to gain control of his anger.
  • Several years later, Nathalan arrived in Rome, where he purchased a fish from a local lad, and discovered that the fish’s guts contained a key — which, of course, opened the locked door.
  • The first thing we should do when we have to speak to someone with whom we are upset is to pray for the Lord’s direction and assistance.
  • “When you are upset with someone, the best way to find peace is to pray for that person and ask God to reward him or her for causing you suffering,” St.
  • We don’t generally think about it this way, but the individuals that irritate us are actually doing us a favor by helping us to gain more patience.
  • “When we make a mistake, we must be kind with ourselves,” says St.
  • Getting angry at ourselves after we have done something wrong is not a sign of humility, but rather a subtle manifestation of pride.

His healing mercy and serenity are available to everyone, but if we allow our wrath to get in the way, we will lose out on these blessings.

Something You Might Try

St. Francis de Sales teaches that, in order to avoid the sin of anger, you should pray God to calm your heart as soon as you become angry and then divert your attention to something else. While you’re upset, refrain from discussing the subject at hand, making decisions, or correcting another person. When someone offends you, St. Francis urges that you analyze the person’s positive characteristics rather than the words or acts that you find disagreeable. ☩ You should become aware of the situations in which you are most likely to become enraged, such as in certain settings (such as rush-hour traffic), with certain people (such as a specific neighbor or acquaintance), and at certain times of the day (such as just before you leave work and you’re scrambling to clear your desk).

  1. “Was my rage justified?” you should ask yourself.
  2. By allowing yourself to feel furious while you’re alone, you may rehearse potential replies and analyze which ones could be helpful.
  3. Esper’s book, Saintly Solutions to Life’s Common Problems, contains a chapter that has been modified for this page.
  4. Check out some of Fr.
  5. Image courtesy ofDimitry AnikinonUnsplash
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Saints quotes on Anger

“When you are confronted with the assaults of passion and rage, it is necessary to remain silence, just as Jesus remained mute in the face of His ignominies and sufferings.” O heavenly quiet, abounding in wonderful qualities! What a precious gold key it is, protecting the huge store of heavenly virtues that is kept secure by holy silence! Paul of the Cross (St. Paul the Apostle) Prayer helps to mold virtues into who we are. Temperance is preserved by prayer. Anger can be suppressed by prayer.

  1. Prayer invites the Holy Spirit into the soul and lifts the individual to the level of Heaven.
  2. Ephraem of Syria, a saint who lived in Syria Make a conscious effort to avoid using harsh language.
  3. The memory of an injury is erroneous in and of itself.
  4. It’s a rusted arrow that’s poison to the spirit.
  5. -St.
  6. -St.
  7. -Imitation of Christ’s teachings I will tell it again and again: if at all possible, avoid having disagreements with anyone, and allow your heart to confess fury and emotion on any pretense whatsoever.

Francis de Sales, a Dominican friar Even if one’s feelings are justified and reasonable, it is preferable not to allow anger to enter in any way than to allow it to do so even in the tiniest degree; once anger has entered, it will not be easily expelled because, though it may start out as a small plant, it will quickly grow into a large tree.” -St.

  • -Imitation of Christ’s teachings In the event that we get arrogant and enraged after being slandered or treated unfairly, this serves as evidence that our kindness and humility are illusory and only a show of force.
  • Francis de Sales, a Dominican friar It is a tyranny to subject the reasoning soul to passion; for the reasonable soul being naturally obedient to reason, it is a tyranny to subject it to passion; for when reason is led by passion, it becomes detestable, and its legitimate rule is infuriating.
  • Francis de Sales, a Dominican friar Nothing else in this world can give a man a foretaste of damnation as rage and impatience can.
  • Catherine of Siena is a saint who lived in the 13th century.
  • Remember that the person about whom you are speaking is your brother, and that because he is on the path to salvation, God has the ability to transform him into a Saint, despite his present flaws.
  • But even if you do manage to stay upright, to whom do you owe your good fortune if not to the unfailing benevolence of God?” -St.
  • According to St.
  • -St.
  • After all, just as water can put out a fire, humility may settle an aroused and agitated mind.
  • John Chrysostom, a Christian saint ‘There is a fury that is fueled by evil, and there is an anger that is fueled by goodness.
  • Gregory the Great, admonition to the faithful We must be mindful that when we must respond to someone who has offended us, we do so with meekness at all times.

If we are upset, it is preferable for us to remain silence, since we are more likely to say something wrong; when we get calm, we will realize that all of our statements were wrongful.” The Doctor of the Church, Saint Alphonsus Liguori, says: “Many appear to be full of mildness and sweetness as long as everything goes their way; yet, the moment any conflict or difficulty emerges, they are engulfed in flames and wrath like a blazing mountain,” says the author of the book.

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People like these are like red-hot coals that have been buried under a layer of ash.

Bernard of Clairvaux, a medieval saint There are two strategies for controlling one’s anger.

Second, when we see the excesses of others, we tend to divert our thoughts to our own excesses, which causes us to insult other people in the process.

In fact, a person who sincerely believes that he or she has a quality that others must patiently tolerate in him or her would be more easily prepared to tolerate harms that he or she gets from others.” -Saint Gregory the Great, the Pope “In Christian fight, unlike in Olympic competition, the victor is not the attacker, but the one who is struck.” (Romans 12:2) That’s how the rules work at the celestial theater, where the Angels are the audience members.

  • -St.
  • Do you want to become a Saint?
  • John Chrysostom, a Christian saint In the rare instance that it is essential to talk harshly in order to make a grave offense feel, we should always follow up with some gentle words at the conclusion of the reprimand.
  • In the same way that oil floats over all other alcoholic beverages, humility should predominate in all of our acts.” -St.
  • A soothing phrase may calm an angry person, just as water can put out a fire.

To express the truth in a charming manner is to hurl blazing coals, or rather flowers, in someone’s direction. I don’t see how somebody can be upset with someone who is fighting him with pearls and diamonds.” -St. Francis de Sales, the patron saint of sales

Ask a Latter-day Saint therapist: How can I manage my anger?

Editor’s note: The views, facts, and opinions stated in this column are entirely those of the author. No affiliation or endorsement is intended or implied. Readers should take into account the specifics of each scenario. This information is not intended to serve as a substitute for personalized, professional advice. Become a member of Jonathan’s Facebook group for daily, gospel-based relationship insights. To submit a query, please visit this page, or to book a consultation, please visit this page.

Even though I adore my partner and our children, the pressures of job, running a household, and parenting are beginning to wear on my resolve.

Now I’m always on the verge of losing my cool, becoming upset, frustrated, and furious.

The demands for assistance and connection made by my husband are met with the attitude that they are selfish.

What can I do to make a difference?

In my experience as a husband and father of five who must balance a demanding professional life with family obligations, religious commitments, and self-care, I can connect better than you may imagine.

until I had children.” Even though I adore them, parenting and adulthood are difficult duties that test our emotional, mental, and spiritual fortitude.

That youngsters often lack the maturity that may be gained via life experience and teaching when it comes to controlling their emotions, settling conflict, deferring gratification, exercising self-discipline, and demonstrating patience and altruism surely adds to the difficulty of the task.

To summarize, children are a variety of beautiful things.

The key is to maintain your composure so that you don’t explode when the buttons are pressed on the controller.

It is what God has asked us to do in order for us to have joy (see 2 Nephi 2:25), and we must put our faith in him to see us through.

You have the ability to be patient with your family.

Let’s have a look at five different approaches to accomplishing this goal.

Instead of relying on “the arm of flesh” or the intelligence of the human race to discover answers, you have the benefit of knowing that there is a Heavenly Father who loves you, wants to assist you, and is already on your side.

“If folks come to me in their weakness, I will demonstrate it to them,” the Lord has declared.


While feeling angry, pray that you will be able to alter your mind, understand things from the other person’s point of view, and realize the vulnerable emotion behind your anger (hurt, shame, fear, overwhelm) and communicate that emotion instead of the anger itself.


When we become angry, our bodies, which God created for us, have a beautiful warning system that helps us identify when we are becoming angry and that we should not attempt to fix the current problem until the anger has been dealt with.

As a result, we must pay heed to the warning indicators that our bodies provide us.

Even if we believe we are “in the right,” this does not imply that our point of view should be communicated in a rage with others.

Understand who you are.

Is it meant to be a relaxing or cathartic experience?

Catharsis, on the other hand, is the act of releasing or channeling one’s wrath in a constructive manner.

What has worked for you in the past?

4.Set aside some time to spend with your family.

Concentrate on the benefits that have already come your way.

Play games with your children.

Allow yourself to not be stressed out at all times.

Consider taking a break to have some fun, to mend something, to solve a problem, to play a game, to preach the gospel, or to simply converse with someone.

5.Make time for self-care in your calendar.

What time is it, exactly?

Consequently, you will be less resentful of your wife and children, as well as your job, your calling, and everything else that demands your attention. God’s blessings on you. I hope this has been of assistance.

Lead image: Shutterstock

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